People keep asking me what it's like, but it's difficult to describe exactly how it feels, sitting here on my (uncomfortable) ACE mattress on my last evening here, having returned to Santa Cruz yesterday from my final project.
Yesterday, when we returned, ACE's head honcho Chris Baker appeared at the house having travelled all the way from Flagstaff (that's the main ACE base), and assembled all 22 of us volunteers to ask us about our views and experiences of ACE California. Upon reflection I found myself feeling indescribably happy to be done: to have finally completed my ten weeks of difficult, gruelling, often boring and sometimes thankless tasks that have constituted my "conservation" experience. I've struggled with the sometimes amateurish work of what you might ironically refer to as the ACE "organisation". I have felt so frustrated, thinking about what I would change about the projects and the way it's all done if only I were in charge.
But I can't deny that I have some brilliant memories, met some great people, seen some really very beautiful places, built up some good arm muscles, worked in some crazy situations, and generally feel that these past ten weeks have been well, well worth it. I wouldn't say that I'm exactly sad that to be leaving tomorrow - not yet, anyway - but I do suspect that getting back home (after my two-week roadtrip with cousins on the East) will be a bit of a strange experience.
I won't miss waking up in the dark at 6am to defrost the ice in the cooking pot in order to make coffee. I won't miss being yelled at by crazy Europeans for passing the logs down the human chain to the roadside too quickly. I won't miss finding cactus needles in my socks (the painful way) or being charged through the teeth for my swollen mosquito bites. I certainly won't miss the endless, mind-numbing monotony of repeating the same simple but physically demanding task over and over again for ten hours a day.
But I will miss being in California. I'll miss the crisp air of the mountains and the marine layer of mist that hangs over the Pacific in the morning. I'll miss being governed by the Terminator, and seeing all the weirdos inside and outside the 7-11 on the corner. I will miss the lovely people I've met from all over the world, whom in all likelihood - let's face it - I'll never see again, and the word games we played to keep our minds from imploding with boredom during the hardest days of project. I will miss the novelty of being the only English person around!
Would I recommend ACE to a friend? Well, cautiously, yes. I guess if I'd known what I was in for from the beginning I probably would have steered well clear, and I suppose that means I'm grateful for my ignorance, because I am so glad to have done it. I guess the toughest things turn out to be the really good things - the important things in life - and as a coward that means I have to not know in advance how tough they're going to be!
I'm not sure if I'll keep writing in this blog as I travel on the East. After all, I think I can say I've won already.
Thanks for following this blog. Unlike lots of people I've met here on ACE, I really do love my life back home, and it means a lot to me to feel like in some way my friends and family are here with me. I miss you lots, and am really looking forward to seeing everybody when I get back.
Until then... word.
p.s. anyone know of any fun job vacancies for December..?
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Jen
ReplyDeleteJust to say I've enjoyed your blog, really sorry it's (probably) come to an end, though I understand. Whatever you do with your life (in or out of work) I hope you keep up the writing, you're really good at it.
Dad
I second that - I think you've found yet another thing you are really rather good at Jenfar! Can't wait to catch up, I have missed you loads. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'll keep my eyes open for a job Jen, looking forward to catching up - and yay, keep up the writing!
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Nikki
x
I would like to belatedly agree with the above comments.
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